Life is Real

I'm not normally a ridiculously impatient person. Really, I'm not. I fill my time to keep myself from becoming impatient. Often this results in slight bouts of craziness when I have TOO much to do, but I think I might actually have the opposite problem this semester.

I'm in my last semester of college. This means Real Life is looming, right around the corner. It's creeping forward with this awful gaping mouth ready to swallow us almost-graduates whole, chew us up a bit, and spit us back into the Big Bad World. Some of us might have jobs lined up. Some of us have internships that might lead somewhere. Some of us don't.

I like to think I had my "stuff" together at some point. I mean, I had an internship in London during my sophomore year, I've kept busy with 18 units of classes almost every semester, I've got two sort-of jobs that give me a sort-of income so I can have a little fun. It works. It keeps me busy. But after becoming a part-time student this semester, I came to the HUGE realization that... holy hell, life is actually real. Like, gaping maw, chewing jaws, spitting us out into the world isn't just an analogy. It's a fact.

A cold hard fact that makes me kind of wish I could magically tap on a fortune cookie and be all: "yo, tell me what to do, bro." Or, I guess, something along those lines (preferably in less surfer/douchey language). Win some, lose some. But, in all seriousness, I've spent the last weekend (because I get 4 day-weekends due to my schedule) looking for a third job, internships that don't conflict with my current jobs or classes, et cetera. I feel like a maniac. On top of that, I'm actually close to fulfilling my goal of writing a novel (at least the first draft) in a month.

I started the 18th. My deadline is the 17th. I'm at 81k as of today, which means I've got somewhere around 10k words before I'm finished. At least that's what I'm estimating, looking at my current point in the story.

And yet EVEN THAT hasn't kept me from wondering what in the hell I'm doing with my life. I know what I WANT to do. I want to be a writer. I bleed writing. But seriously, it's kind of my obsession and the one thing I've remained committed to all my life (definitely failed in the whole relationships aspect of commitment so far... thanks books). Okay, maybe some commitment to happy hour as well once I became legal, but in all seriousness, I know that the road I'd love to take.

But then you get all those lovely articles about how damn hard it is to make it as a writer. Oh, I KNOW. Thank you world, for that one. But I guess it wouldn't be as much of an accomplishment if it was easy. Doesn't make my happy, though. If anyone who reads this (if anyone does) needs someone to write for a magazine... online journal... let's do this. I'm all about "How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days."

Anyhow, I applied to grad schools. Of course, that was on a whim and I have no idea if it'll actually pan out, or if I want it to pan out. Life is confusing. Life is hard. Life is real. Life kind of sucks sometimes, even with happy hour.

I've managed to kind of block this fear with some time with friends, some classes (I get - not have - to write another novel for one of them in about 2 months), and lots of gym and writing time. Although I definitely missed out on my run today as I pounded out 11k words. I kid you not. My mind is absolutely fried. But I love it. I've also been trying cooking experiments. Seriously. I made the best friggin omelette the other day. Check it:

I guess this blog was a mini rant, but also a kind of outlet for me, and for anyone suffering the same fears right now. Yeah, the Big Bad World is rapping at our door right now. It's gonna come and get us if we don't buck up and meet it face-on in the next few months - or whatever amount of time it is for you. I'm coming to terms with that, just like I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have no idea what I'm going to do. Will the agent want to represent me? Will I make it into grad school? Will I find a job or internship that works now or will I have to leave it to fate and hope I can find something upon graduation? Will that damn fortune cookie tell me what to do? (Seriously... let's crack one open and get a real future...) It's a scary time, I'm not sure which road I'm walking down right now, which is a new thing for me.

I guess what I have to say, after all of this, is to keep looking forward. Something's going to happen at some point. I just hope it's a good something. Good luck to everyone else out there struggling with the same fears and realizations!

Spontaneous Chatter, Prayers, and Updates

Well, I started another blog to talk about spontaneous stuff, but I seem to have the attention span of a goldfish when I'm not blogging about my adventures in London (which gave me something to actually write about on a weekly, if not daily, basis). So, I guess some merging will be done on here. Some spontaneous chatter, some writer's journey gabbing, and the like.

I drew this awesome picture up of my adventures (well, misadventures and battle with the dewey decimal system) in my university library, but after thinking about it I figured that kind of spontaneity might be better left hidden. It was an embarrassing battle. Regardless, current updates:

Break is amazing. Seriously, best schedule ever: Wake up, breakfast, work out, write, go out, sleep, repeat. It's fantastic.

AND it allows for my to do NaNoWriMo round 2! Yahoo! For all of you Non-NaNos out there (once again, do people actually read this? Doubtful....) that's National Novel Writing Month, done during the month of November. You try to pound out 50k words in 30 days and feel super accomplished if you do. I wasn't able to get the 50k I wanted this month due to school work, which is why round 2 is beginning in my life, especially with way more time, no finals, grad school apps, and the like.

And, well, I have a little bit of incentive now.

But first, prayers to all of those who are suffering and hurting right now. My heart goes out to all of the families that lost people in the recent shooting.

-

Although it's a terrible transition, now my novel-writing update:

December 18 = beginning of my 30 day adventure, lots of outlining and writing done
December 19th - 8k words completed
December 21st - 17k words completed
December 22 - 21k words completed


Today's December 22. Have yet to hit up the writing world, but that's because I was busy buying Anberlin tickets and scheduling a pedicure. Sue me. Girl time is necessary. So are concert tickets for my favorite band. Besides, this counts as writing. Not my minimum goal of 15 min a day (or preferably a chapter a day), but writing nonetheless. Besides, due to the fact that The Intouchables left theaters again (I really need to stop waiting for the family to get onboard and hit up the movies with me...), I have plenty of writing time tonight. I'll get that chapter out. Woohoo rough drafts.

Anyhow, The Big News. I feel like I should have some sort of dramatic music for that titillating introduction. Bum bum bum. There we go.

I wrote a novel - ACTIONS AND MOTIVES - about 2 years ago when I was living in London. I wrote it in about a month while sitting in my local pub (seriously, best experience ever). I'll give more background if anything ever comes of it (hopefully!). But, I sent out queries, got the form rejections, continued editing and editing and editing (seriously though... I've hardcore edited this sucker at least 20 times), and randomly got this email over Thanksgiving break:

Needless to say, I was stoked. Not only because this was my first positive response, but because I'd given up on even hearing back from this agency. I mean, it had been MONTHS. But then, out of the blue when I was least expecting it - BAM! Good things. Seriously, I might repost my positivity post from my other blog just because it's the way to go about life. 

Anyhow, I immediately edited, formatted, and sent those pages out with my fingers crossed, but not TOO much hope. I mean, it was just a partial. Plenty of room for rejection. Besides, I had up to 12 weeks of waiting. I couldn't get too excited. 

So I went back to school, had my 22 birthday (talk about shenanigans), powered through those aforementioned finals, the GRE test, grad school applications, and woke up December 14th to a call from my boss asking if I wanted to work early. Um, yes! That meant I got to go home 2 days early! Best surprise ever. So, I got ready to go ride horses (best job ever), decided to check my email, and might have had a small conniption. 

But really. 

Are you ready? I'm actually not sure if I should be posting this, because there's still plenty of room for this to go, well, the sad, rejecting way, but because no one really reads this, why the heck not? Might as well document:

Seriously?!?! Like I said, unbelievable morning. 

So, I won't go into any more details. I still have a long wait ahead of me and I'm filling the time in by working on the sequel, just in case. Might as well get a version of it written up, right? I have to kind of know where I'm going. But, at this point, this is the most positive response I've received so far, and it rocks. I'm on the road to achieving my dream, and it makes me just want to give a shout out to anyone and everyone right now who doesn't think they can achieve theirs. 

You can. It just takes some positivity and a lot of willpower, but it's possible. 

So, happy holidays and a few selfishly crossed fingers that I might continue to move forward in my own endeavors!

Annie King

(am I allowed to end with my name? It feels so pretentious, like I'm actually writing to people. Hah. I'll indulge myself this once...)