Thursday, January 31, 2013

Yeah, He's Compensating (and writerly updates)

(Although some stupid drivers are amusing...)
This is a bit different than my normal posts. Okay, who am I kidding? I had a blog called "Spontaneous Chatter" that was dedicated to all of the random things that float around in my mind. But I don't actually care enough to update 2 blogs so I just decided to combine them, which means anyone following this one for my writing updates is going to hear pretty much every weird thought that goes through my mind that I decide it worthy to blog about. And by "anyone" I mean that poor, unfortunate soul that actually spends five minutes reading this inane, rambling nonsense. But seriously - wanna talk about random? Let's talk about one of the most OBNOXIOUS things you see when driving (and that's discounting obnoxious drivers themselves, cause that's a whole other story):

Truck testicles.

No, you did not read that incorrectly. I have a question to voice to the world. Seriously. WHAT the HECK is up with truck testicles?? No, I'm not being profane, or gross, or making a euphemism. I'm actually talking about those complete idiots that decide that jacking up their truck isn't enough, so they go buy plastic balls and tie them to the backs of their trucks.

Seriously? C'mon bro, if you've jacked it up to such a height that you need to pole vault into the car and women wearing monstrous stilettos still need a boost, you're already telling people that you're compensating for something. Adding balls to your truck does not negate that fact. It just makes you look like more of an idiot. So, please, for all of our sakes, DO NOT make your car a "dude." It just makes you look like a bigger girl.

You're welcome.

Also, avoid the giant Ed Hardy stickers. Really, not only do you look like a complete and total moron, but you're actually a hazard on the road. How the heck can you see in your review mirror if you have these giant letters blocking three-quarters of your back window? Just not smart. Every time I see those dang things I just get this image of a cartoon truck with a huge, fratty hat on the hood. It's not a compliment.
I even used my mad artistic skills to bring this image to life...

Oh, and in the world of writing, definitely made my deadline. BAM. 92k in 30 days. My next challenge? Figure out what next novel I'm writing for my Advanced Fiction class. I've got two months for this creature, but it is definitely a hard one to crack. Seriously, you can write and write and write and get absolutely nothing (kind of like this post), and then write some more only to find yourself sitting at your desk five hours later having consumed an idiotic amount of goldfish and created nothing but a deformed novel-baby that should be shoved right back into the womb and never seen again. Graphic enough? You're welcome again. I'm in a sharing kind of mood tonight.

So, between those two lovely ideas (seriously, Thursday nights my brain is shot. I shouldn't be allowed near a computer, let alone my own blog), I retreat into my literary world. To write, or not to write? Is it right to write this night? Oh rhymes... But here goes the poll: historical fiction a la ancient Rome with a slightly "magical" twist or should I go hardcore and just hit up the supernatural romance with a psychotic serial killer? Oh the choices of life...

Until next time.

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